Because you’re not the one

 


I bet you think your life is peaceful and beautiful 


Because you’re not the one managing the therapy and med check appointments

 Because you’re not the one sitting in the dark with a sick teenager who just needs you close by until they fall asleep

Because they don’t wake you up with 2:00 am texts because they’re hurting in the night  and I’m here and you’re not

Because you’re not the one wringing your hands over the hurt and the betrayal you’ve caused. That’s me too. 

Because you think you can show up for a few days at a time, buy furniture for a room they may never visit, make empty promises and maintain relationships

Because you’re not the one juggling work schedules, activities, social engagements, while figuring out how to get them fed, get the dogs some exercise, do the dishes, live life

Because you’re not the one who’s been sick for three weeks and exhausted from the nonstop running, with no end in sight


But I promise you it is your life, not mine, that is empty and wasted. When one only thinks about themselves, their comfort, their needs, their own good feelings, that is meaningless.


You miss the moments in the darkness. You miss the still held hand now and then. You miss the deep conversations and the lightest, loudest laughter. And sure. You miss all the pain that you cause, but that’s ok because I am here for that too. And no matter how sick, how tired, how many 15 hour days I’ve put in, I’ll be there for every bit of it every time. I’ll work half dead and then come home and be everything that they need from both of us. Not for you. For them. And I’ll do it forever because they are mine and that means everything. Peace be damned

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